Bob's Christmas Goose is Really Cooked Now...

Ah, Christmas time! Icy roads, icy fingers, icy windshields, icy parking lots, icy power lines, the dog is a pupcicle...you get the idea!

Speaking of ice, I saw a Wisconsin phenomenon last night. On my way home from picking up Shan from school, a semi tractor was on the side of Route 12, headlights facing North, and tail lights facing North! There were also four other vehicles in the ditch within about fifty yards of each other...the roads were just a touch icy.

Tonight I'm sitting here snug in my warm little house, staring at my Christmas frog Pete as he burrows into the warm, moist moss in his glass house. I'm worried about my friends traveling to Arkansas tonight. Steve, Dawn, Bree and Julie-please be safe and we'll see you all on Sunday. Merry Christmas my friends!

Speaking of Christmas, I love to buy presents for my family and friends-but like many folks, my gift ideas far outweigh the contents of my pocketbook. I get by however, and manage to stay mostly within my means. I plan, I make lists, I observe people all year long and note things they really want but pass on for one reason or another, I watch for sales, I compare brands and prices, I collect online coupons, I stand on my head and light my hair on fire....(whew!) and it brings me great joy to watch as each person opens the special gift I spent so much time planning and choosing.

Bob on the other hand, admits that he is not the world's best gift buyer-that is, he dashes out Christmas Eve and as he stares at the endless bombardment of advertising, stresses about what to buy and grabs whatever he can reach within twenty feet of the entrance of the store.

Come Christmas Day, he spends half the day apologizing and the other half telling me what a bad gift buyer he is. I've tried hinting, I've left very conspicuous Christmas lists, I've tried prodding, poking, in July I even pointed out something and yelled, "CHRISTMAS!" Alas, nothing seems to work.

So Christmas rolls around once again and I look forward to it with both joy and dread. After the presents are opened, I usually just watch football and begin thinking about next year.

This year I had a great idea. I decided to just tell Bob exactly what I wanted. I found the perfect gift. I saw it advertised in the local paper two weeks in a row and knew it was an omen! It was far beyond our pocketbook, but I had to have it and knew Bob would be so happy he didn't have to shop he couldn't say no.

I had a great lead in planned; I had my ducks in a row, and came right out and asked Bob if I could buy a Newfoundland puppy. Without batting an eyelash he said (make that shrieked) NO! No more dogs!

I was stunned. I tried to point out that I hadn't had a Newfie in many years... the answer was still no. I reasoned that Wesley the Newfoundland was a main character in Totally Buzzed, and wouldn't it be cool if I had a Newfie when the book came out 2010...the answer was an emphatic NO.

So as I sit here gazing at Pete the frog-now mostly buried in his moss bed, I am already thinking about next year. This past Sunday Bob and I were at an all-animal swap in Chcago....

I am now the proud owner of two dwarf hampsters....

Merry Christmas everyone!

New Website! http://galeborgerbooks.com

http://galeborgerbooks.com.

 Remember this website address, as there will be a pop quiz on this material later. It's new, nothng fancy, but it's MINE! It took me forever to figure out how to do it, and it is still not perfect, but what the heck? I'm not either.

Check it out, and tell me what you think. I included a little about the Miller sisters, a little more about my background, author events, and how to contact me.

In other news, the beautiful Annie Chernow (Chicagoland Sisters in Crime), hooked me up with Sisters in Crime Wisconsin, and now I am a part of their group. What a great group of people! Not that I'm abandoning Chicagoland group, but I am very happy to have met the Wisconsin group, and I look forward to being involved with them as well.

From Bad to "WORSE", or Mrs Murphy Rides Again!

Good thing I have an outlet to vent (unfortunately for you!) or I would be running away screaming.

"Never tempt worse," said the great George Carlin waaay back when we were both young(er), so I will never admit under threat of death that more than once this past week I said aloud, "Could anything worse happen?" Because believe me folks, it can, and did!

Actually whether things went from bad to worse this weekend, I'm not quite sure, because what I personally think happened was that old Mrs. Murphy stepped in and anything that could have gone wrong, did.

"Mrs. Who?" you might ask. I am speaking about Mrs. Murphy of the infamous "Murphy's Law" Murphy. I have always thought of Herself as a she, have you not? After all, it would explain a lot about how Murphy's Law works if one thinks of her as a woman and not a man. Let me explain:

She is one of exceptional intelligence, she is totally cunning, has an evil sense of humor, and....wait a minute! That's my sister, not Mrs. Murphy! I should rather have said, Mrs. Murphy has the most impeccable timing at the worst (oops! don't tempt "worse"!) possible moment of your life; that throw-the-monkey-wrench-in-any-well-planned-fail-safe-event-in-your-life(even-if you're not Irish)-then-laugh-like heck-while you suffer and fumble around...(*sigh*) That's Mrs. Murphy!

The story? Well now, I didn't feel so hot Thursday evening, but retrieved Shan from school as scheduled-kind of. Traffic was particularly heavy, and people must have been counting the flocks of Canada Geese flying overhead while still driving 70 mph on the southbound express way than they did actual driving. I ended up running way behind schedule. Watching the clock took a backseat to being sick, and I missed the Master Gardener meeting because Mrs. Murphy was holding my head and chuckling as I tried to remember what must have poisoned me earlier that day.

Shan and I did make court the following morning-actually we have a very cool thng in Wisconsn called the "Court Officer", to whom you can tell your tale of woe before your appointed court date. He has the power to lower the fine or take the points off your license-which Shan opted to do-but I digress-Shan drove home, and I hung my head out the window, day dreaming about Pepto Bismol and a warm bed.

I slept the rest of Friday, but felt better that evening so Bob and I made it to Murder and Mayhem in Muskego. I met some great readers, writers and authors, but Mrs. Murphy must have poured the wine, because I running for the ladies room before I could swallow, and we left very early.

I'll spare you all the gory details, but as I sit here writing on Sunday evening, I am still queasy (I called Mom and she caught this bug too) and I am going to bed early, because tomorrow is an other work week, and I really don't want to throw up on the bad guys.

Our most wonderful friends Tom and Holly took Shannon back to school tonight (many thanks) and Chloe (Super Chloe, the Wonderdog) and I are hitting the sack. If I were to tempt "worse," Chloe and Bob would probably catch the same bug, so I will refrain from even thinking the "W" word.

So good night all, and yo, Mrs Murphy-go haunt someone else this week, okay?

Want Some Crackers to go wth that Whine?

Trying to squeeze in writing time is proving to be a most difficult task lately. I thought that when the child went off to college I would have so much time on my hands I would be looking for things to do!

Bob's birthday is today, and his present is late. I bought him a candy bar (no lie!). I worked on labels and signs for the fish swap table and he took a much needed nap.

Shannon (aka A.J. Foyt-of-the-Lead-Foot-Got-Her-First-Speeding-Ticket-Shannon) has traffic court on Friday.  I have to pick her up from school Thursday afternoon so she can plead her case in front of a judge Friday morning, so I had to take off work on Friday for that.

Murder and Mayhem in Muskego writer's workshop is this week. Friday afternoon/evening is reserved for that ( sure hope no one asks what I've written lately...)

I have been working every night making plants for the swap on Sunday (see captainbobsfishtales.com), the Cleveland, Ohio cichlid show, and the Chicago swap December 6th.

I have a meeting tomorrow with WIMGA (Wisconsin Master Gardeners Association) I am the local representative to the state association (that is, if I get home soon enough after I run up to get Shan).

I work Saturday. Pack fish and truck Saturday night.

Bob and I have a fish swap in DuPage County, Illinois on Sunday. The banner I ordered came in so we need to get to Home Depot between now and then for materials to make a stand.

Which brings us to Monday, work, and two meetings afterward.

Tuesday, more work, facilitate a Master Gardener class afterward.

This brings us full circle to next Wednesday, where I can sleep in until 6 a.m. and then begin to pack for the Cleveland convention.....

Maybe I can write between the hours of 2 & 4 am......

....forget the crackers, I'm done whining.

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night....

Trick or Treat!

'Tis the time of year when mystery writers feel right at home in the world. A Full moon, a chill in the air, naked trees silently reaching their skeletal fingers toward the unsuspecting children who walk beneath the encroaching shadows...I can almost feel the ideas swirling around in the grey mists of my mind.

 Sparkling little Cinderellas, green faced witches, pumpkins, ghouls and black cats swarm the neighborhoods lugging sacks of treats that weigh more than they do.....

Yo--stop the music! I must have a heck of an imagnation because the truth is I only had three hard core Trick or Treaters because it was 39 degrees outside with a thirty mile an hour wind!  The three kids that came were in the back of a mini van. They pulled up the the end of my driveway, stopped, the side door rolled open and a black cat, a fairy and I honestly don't recall the other one came running up  the drive, loaded the loot, ran back to the warm van and took off to the next house!

Talk about hard core Trick or Treaters.....

Kids my daughter grew up with are gathered in my messy livingroom, checking their costumes and trading scars and eye patches. The smell of grease paint permeates the air as Tom is painting his face white but Shan is going for the chartreuse-adds a healthy glowto her witch's pallor.

Vic thought he would escape realitively unscathed until I brought out the Lunch Lady from Hell, and the new cool teeth we found at Walgreens.

I heard a screech coming from the bathroom only to find that Amber had crammed herself into that little white dress...again! Good job Amber!

What a Day!

Today was a chapter in life that is going to end up in a book-it has to! I'm writing it up this evening. Bob and I were at a fish swap (yes, a-NOTHER fish swap!) in Chicago today, and the people we met were a wonderful study in social-psycho behavior. Some were more social, but many were more psycho I think.

On the "Very Wonderful" list is Lisa Nietfeldt and her very polite young man from Manteno, Jan and Jon Miller from Dekalb, Chris Nuth from the Lake County Area, The "Boys in Charge" at the GCCA, and the family with the marble angels-those boys are the best!  You guys made my day.

The very few nasty people need not be mentionedhere. Ever agan, but they couldn't wreck my entre day. We persevered and had a wonderful day!  It's gong to end up in a book....Which reminds me, I need to get to work.......

GONE FISHIN' !!!

It's so cool to see you guys following my blog. Let me know what you are thinking, if you write, if you would like to write, or anything else you might want to chat about.

Hey-My husband Bob and I decided to hop in the car and do a short road trip. We went to Kentucky to pick up some fish from a very nice Discus breeder. These Discus are beautiful. We came home with three dozen babies and two breeding pairs.

It was a lot of driving through never ending construction barricades, but we also were able to stop and see friends of ours in southern Indiana. We even dragged Jeff along for the ride to Kentucky!
                                                            

Bob and Jeff-Two Great Fish Guys

We had a great time with fantastic people, and I have some really beautiful fish which I hope will be spawning real soon!

What's Right to Write?

In one of my very nicely worded rejection letters, after reviewing my first three chapters of TOTALLY BUZZED, one agent asked why I interjected a "cute" scene right after a knock-down-drag-out bloody mess. She said,"You don't write cute. You don't write nice. Why is this in the book?

I was not sure how to answer her then, but I think I have it now. When I was working on the characters of my book, I wanted them to be like the families I grew up with. Close-knit, not perfect, lots of love and humor-what I knew as normal-which turned out to be not-so-normal at all. After over two decades of observing  the "not so nice" end of the spectrum, I wanted to write about people I knew-people who exist in my realm of reality.

Even if the crime is not-nice, and the scene is ravaged and riddled with bullet holes and dead bodies, my nice characters stumble into a world not of their own. That, however does not change who they are and how they would handle it.

I think that if my characters grew up in the gutter, fought their way on the mean streets to survive to adulthood, and were currently slogging through the clutter and stench of a garbage-strewn back alley in Chicago, interviewing crack whores and drug addicts to investigate the murder and dismemberment of a junkie with ties to the Russian Mafia, Buzz and Fred would not have been playing "Rock, Scissors, Paper" in the opening moments of TOTALLY BUZZED to see who had to go under Mom's house to find the old lamp.

We still do the old "RSP" among my family, friends and co-workers when no one wants to perform a certain task. Sometimes we waste more time than the task would have taken to perform, but eventually we get to it after much laughter and teasing-which in the end makes the task funny and challenging rather than a drudge. What's wrong with that?

I'm not saying that the woman was wrong, but I wanted my readers to get a 3-D picture of White Bass Lake, the Miller sisters, their friends and family, so when Mag gets hung up in the barbed wire fence and 80-year-old Mary Cromwell pole dances on a parking meter in a go-go dress and orthopedic shoes, no one is really surprised.

So whether a character is in a "cute" situation or an ugly predicament, just make sure the continuity flows throughout. Make sure your characters remain true to form-that they react as they would and not as someone else would. A retired detective takes in the corpse of their neighbor with dread and disgust, and her sister, who owns a pet store promptly panics and loses her lunch in Mom's petunias.

So what's right to write? Uh, beats the heck out of me!

Coffee, Tea and a Smoking Gun

What a day! I just returned from a great day at the Schaumburg (Illinois)Library, and the Coffee, Tea and a Smoking Gun workshop. Sponsored by the Chicagoland Sisters in Crime, it was wonderfully organized and beautifully executed (pardon the pun).

I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I was greeted right away by Annie Chernow and Sue Gibberman, and they made me feel right at home. Thanks guys-you have no idea how good that felt!

I met up with the wonderful J.D. Webb (Shepherd's Pie, Her Name Is Mommy, and Moon Over Chicago), and the equally wonderful Jenny Spallone (Deadly Choices, Fatal Reaction). It was good to catch up with them, and they both gave killer seminars today. Great job, my friends!

I also met the lovely Sherill Bodine(Talk of the Town and A Black Tie Affair-out n January, 2010), the truly fantastic Jamie Freveletti (I also won a copy of her book, Running From the Devil-which my husband is reading as I write), and the incredible Luisa Buehler (her sixth book, The Innkeeper: an Unregistered Death).

Lisa is also published by Echelon Press; boy am I in some great company! Jamie, Lisa and I spoke at length about the future of publishing and how Ebooks will definitely play a big role in how the public will read in the future. If it is possible, I am even more excited about Totally Buzzed than I was before!

I attended a great seminar on marketing, where Morgan Mandel (Killer Career, Girl of my Dreams, and Two Wrongs) shared a million and one ideas on how to get the word out and keep it there, and I could not write fast enough to keep up with her. Thank you Morgan, you have no idea how much you helped me out.

Thanks to everyone involved today-Sisters in Crime, the Schaumburg Township District Library, Annie, Amy, Sue and all who attended this event for making my debut author experience a memorable one!

Busy, Busy, Busy

This month has been so busy, I can't believe it's almost over! Between work, my Master Gardener projects, county fair season, getting Shan ready to boot out the door for college and the fish stuff, I can barely catch my breath, let alone find enough time to write!

Totally Buzzed is coming along fine. Everything is proceeding along as scheduled. Sometimes I still find it a little hard to believe, and I am still doing mental back flips over it. I will be at the Schaumburg, Illinois Library on September 12th for "Coffee, Tea and a Smoking Gun"--a workshop sponsored by the Schaumburg Library and the Chicago Chapter of Sisters in Crime:

Spend the day with mystery authors from the Chicagoland Chapter of Sisters in Crime. The day will include writing workshops, panel discussions, book sales by Brainsnacks, author signings, a Crime Scene-solving competition, book prize giveaways, and more... Free and open to the public.

It will be a great workshop, and I will be promoting "Buzzed" even though it will not be out until 2010.

This past week found me in the pouring rain with my mom and a couple fellow Master Gardeners as we manned the "Ask Your Master Gardener" booth at our local county fair. We laughed, got very wet, laughed some more, and even talked to a few brave souls who ventured out into the monsoon to come to the fair. I think the only guy who made money that day was the man who owns the local towing service as he winched the cars out of the mud bog (a.k.a. the parking lot) onto the street!

To brag just a bit, I was stunned to find that I won not one but two "People's Choice" awards at the fair. How it works is that after the entries are judged, the fair goers "judge" the entries as well, and they vote for their favorite entry. The person with the most votes wins. How cool is that?

And finally, I'm pretty bummed about Shan leaving--we only have a few more days before she leaves for college. BTW--has anyone bought college textbooks lately? I'm going to have to take out a second mortgage just to pay for them! Whooo--Weee! What is up with that?

Did I mention that I garden too?

Meet Burt Beak-a-rack! I started working on him last March. With a little trellis netting, a lot of moss, soil, hens and chicks, five types of grasses and fennel, Burt was hatched. My mom talked me into entering him into the patio planter class at the Lake County Fair in Grayslake, Illinois. He took first in his class and Best of Show! Now that's "something to crow about!"

I actually made him for a class by that name. He's entered in the Kenosha, Wisconsin County Fair in a couple of weeks with some pretty cocky competition, so we'll see if I'm "egg-sagerating," or if he's all he's "cracked up" to be.

Okay, enough with the chicken puns! I'll stop! I'll stop!

Hey, did I mention that I am also working on a Y.A. novel? I sure hope it turns out, because the characters are leading me down some very interesting paths, but I'll save that for later.

Keep those e-mails coming, and thanks for stopping by! I'll keep you posted on how my flowers do in Kenosha and how my writing is going!

Woo Hoo! What's the "Buzz?"

Buzz Miller makes her debut in my first novel, Totally Buzzed-slated for e-book print with Echelon Press in 2010.

Totally Buzzed begins outside the fictitious town of White Bass Lake, Wisconsin, where the body of a neighbor woman turns up stashed under Buzz Miller’s mother’s house. The retired detective is roped into finding out “who dunnit” by a childhood friend, who also happens to be the local sheriff.

In order to accomplish this, Buzz, Wisconsin’s newest member of the AARP, along with her smart-mouthed Biology teacher sister Mag, “The Maggot” Miller, and Ian Connor, a plant geek from Milwaukee (who is not exactly what he seems), have only to find the murderer by following a trail of endangered plants, breaking up an international drug trafficking ring, uncovering a designer drug lab, and avoid being bumped off by the bad guys.

Simple enough, right? That is, until her mom’s wacky “Geriatric SWAT Team” friends turn the crime scene into a neighborhood barbeque, her bumbling sisters Fred and Al literally fall into the evidence, and her 160 pound Newfoundland chews up most of her initial investigation!

Welcome to White Bass Lake, Wisconsin, where the brats are on the grill, the beer is in the cooler, the corpse is under the house, and the Jell-O salads are as disturbing as they are plentiful!

Quirky characters, slapstick adventures, a flatulent Bulldog, and a bird named Kitty add sparkle to small town Midwestern life as local citizens gather at Sal’s Diner to share gossip, and the Miller sisters solve a murder.